When Getting Rich Quick Just Isn't Fast Enough! Many day trading books on the market today contain dubious advice, but never before has there been a book guaranteed to contain 100 percent dubious advice --until now. The Trillionaire Next Door is that book. Inside you'll find: The rock-solid, scientific principles of day trading explained in language so clear and concise it's almost insulting - A glossary of key economic terms for the day trader, like "mousepad" and "click" - Advice for the long-term investor: which stocks to hold in your portfolio for five, ten, fifteen minutes or more - Confusing, meaningless graphs and charts - Bad math - And much, much more--but since day traders have short attention spans, not too much more "If The Trillionaire Next Door were a stock, I'd buy it, sell it, buy it, sell it, and buy it again--it's that good!" --Stacy Gellman, day trader   "A funny little book savaging the nation's obsession with making easy money in the market." -- --New York Post "Day trading has been glorified and vilified, and now it's been properly satirized." -- --Online Investor "If The Trillionaire Next Door were a stock, I'd buy it, sell it, buy it, sell it, and buy it again--it's that good!" -- Stacy Gellman, day trader "Wall Street's version of humorist Dave Barry." -- Newsweek When Getting Rich Quick Just Isn't Fast Enough! Many day trading books on the market today contain dubious advice, but never before has there been a book guaranteed to contain 100 percent dubious advice --until now. The Trillionaire Next Door is that book. Inside you'll find: The rock-solid, scientific principles of day trading explained in language so clear and concise it's almost insulting - A glossary of key economic terms for the day trader, like "mousepad" and "click" - Advice for the long-term investor: which stocks to hold in your portfolio for five, ten, fifteen minutes or more - Confusing, meaningless graphs and charts - Bad math - And much, much more--but since day traders have short attention spans, not too much more "If The Trillionaire Next Door were a stock, I'd buy it, sell it, buy it, sell it, and buy it again--it's that good!" --Stacy Gellman, day trader   Andy Borowitz has parlayed his skills as a day trader and his willingness to remain in his bathrobe into becoming America's first trillionaire. Widely considered the richest man in America, he has never been included on the Forbes 400 list because his net worth has too many zeroes to fit on one page. In the rare moments when he is not pointing and clicking, he is a regular contributer of humor to both The New Yorker and New York Times. A performer and storyteller, he frequently appears with "Stories at the Moth" at the Public Theater in New York City. He lives with his stocks.